Eventually Clever

First Monkey: Jobs

As part of Blork and Martine’s 12 Monkeys project, here’s my list of all the paying jobs I’ve held:

1. Rubber stamp factory worker - Two summers running at the end of high school. My mother worked at the company and got me in. I assembled wooden stamp handles, glued the rubber to the stamp pad (rubber cement fumes are fun!), made labels and, when work was slow, washed 25 years of tobacco smoke off the factory walls and ceiling fans. If you went to a bank in the early Nineties, chances are your receipts were stamped by my handiwork.
2. Dishwasher at a downtown ice-cream parlour - Four hours one night in May. I slashed my left index finger open on a broken sundae dish and went to the hospital for stitches. I still have the scar. The management broke with their tradition of illegally not paying training and gave me some cash for my efforts.
3. Ticket sales operator and supervisor - Two years after school and weekends during university. One of the best jobs because of all the fun and odd people I worked with (especially Guislaine – who, I didn’t know at the time, knew Dina!). This was my first brush with management. I left only because my school schedule conflicted with a proposed working schedule.
4. Phone agent and supervisor for a Visa card promotion - Ten months. The job didn’t last as long as I thought it would, but it was a great learning experience about large companies and amusing credit fraud. Had my first truly embarrassing lunch with a client.
5. Fax directory phone sales - Four hours. I usually had good instincts about avoiding these kinds of the jobs, but the shifty owner snowed me. I made two calls, and then quit on a phone message pad.
6. Telephone survey operator - Three months. Phoned random clients and quizzed them about their impressions of dog food, film and anti-tobacco commercials. Thirsty work.
7. Ticket sales clerk for a sugar shack festival - Two months. The festival was a complete disaster. The ovens and the heaters were repossessed on the same day, and, unsurprisingly, my last paycheque bounced. My second-last paycheque would have bounced as well, but my dad was a client at the same bank branch, and applied a little moral suasion to get the manager to add the cheque to the festival’s overdraft. Ten years later, I earned 10% of my final cheque in a settlement.
8. Ticket sales manager for professional soccer team - Eight months. This was directly related to the previous ticket sales experience. I processed resevations, and then ran the ticket booth on site. Handling the crowds during the championship earned me a gaudy championship ring, much to my surprise. Worked with a good team, but a clueless boss who didn’t know anything about ticket sales. Even the league commissioner agreed with me on that score. Of course, the boss was let go a month after the final game.
9. Data-entry clerk / marketing writer for mail order company - Two years. You know those coupons for psychic advice at the back of the tabloids? I probably entered the name and address into the database, and I may have written some of the advice. A quiet job that got me into my first two apartments. When I left, my supervisor was very classy and invited me for a beer on my last day.
10. Technical writer in the banking industry - Two years. My first professional writing gig. Only possible because of Dina, and where we met. Learned the trade, editing, and was the head troubleshooter for our weird PC/Mac hybrids. The department was poorly managed by the head office in Toronto, and most of the writers all found other work within a two-week period. Three of us quit on the same day.
11. Technical writer for a telco service provider - a fine job that refined my expectations and requirements for future jobs, and paid for some good business travel, but I couldn’t survive the third round of layoffs. Still, it paid for my part of the wedding.
12. Documentation manager at an aerospace manufacturer - Eight months. worked in the archives department, updating and storing reports and contracts. First time working in a really high-security location.
13. Game designer at a mobile games company - Started as sole writer at a year-old tech startup, grew with the company, watched the team grow around me, and mixed my creative impulses with my technical/organizational skills. Company was sold to a US firm, but is still going strong under the new management.